More than a decade later...

Its been more than decade since I used this blog to write. Its surprising to know I had better lanuage skills even back then. Or I have better language skill than I thought I had. More than a decade has passed since and a lot have happened in that flow of time. I have aged and became wise is one among the incidents. Thoughts have changed. Being human seems more important than it was then. Became lonely, not that I had many branches to latch on even the fewer branches that were there have withered. I faced a lot of personal setbacks especially in health. AS it is nothing but of my own making dosen't makes it better. Now at a crucial juncture of life posing piloshopical questions seems inevitable. The road behind seems longer than what in front. to wait or to keep going has been always the dielamma. Money seems to make the world, make a person or break them. The pondering never stops. But what comes out seems unchanged for thousands of years. Only the actors, stage and the properties have changed. The human greed and destruction of world hasnt changed and moreover it has been expedited by science and technology. To think humans have a future while digging their own grave seems a paradox.

Decision! OMG

Having to decide is the best and worst thing at the same time. I was always had this dilemma in my life and have lot of experience with regards to making decisions. I wonder why I choose to do what I don't love but still keep doing it. I live a life of a hypocrite. Fear of failure has kept me away from even attempting what I want to do. What I love to do. Even the realization of the fact has not been able to guide me through this. I fear I am going to fail miserably and never attempt to do the thing by which I refuse to learn.

Bluff and more of it.........

I want to travel a lot. Like a bird which sheds it relationships in the nest. I have to meet people. Get cheated, involved in some adventure all while I am having a camera. Snapping pictures, feeling  love, hate and witnessing desires of people of all those troubled lands. Witnessing the pride of the souls which think they have “won”. A race few wont even understand (I am one among them). Race for glory which never has a trace into few years of our death. The attitude of abuse. The arrogance for  humiliation. The pride of victory inspired by the writers of history, history of people who had the pride in winning, a heart to defeat,  A way to kill, A likeness to hate.

A world with so many lives.  As simple as that Buddha, one among the enlightened ones to fail miserably. Written legacy is failed by the people. Knowledge makes them blind to feel and express. They are blind to feel  and hence dumb to express. I want to be enlightened one at the end.